Health Care In These United States

These were actual hospital patient reports! Enjoy.



1. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

2. The skin was moist and dry.

3. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

4. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

5. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

6. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

7. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

8. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

9. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

10. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

11. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

12. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

13. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.