Life's Lesser Known Maxims, Part 2...

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued...
...can they 'garnish' his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a 'walk'?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell... he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime... they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists...
...they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an 'algebra'?

Do infants enjoy infancy... much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns... the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto...
...would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail...
...and succeed...
...which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have 'S' in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called 'hemorrhoids' instead of 'assteroids'?

Why is it called 'tourist season' if we can't shoot at them?

Why is there an expiration date on 'sour cream'?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?