And Then the Fight Started..........
>
>
> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ******************************************
>
> My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
> I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
> "No," she answered.
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And then the fight started....
>
> ******************************************
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
>
> My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
>
> And that's how the fight started....
>
> ******************************************
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
>
> I bought her a scale.
>
> And then the fight started....
>
> ******************************************
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
> so, I took her to a gas station.
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ******************************************
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing
> my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
> proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
> ******************************************
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
> I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started.....