Late Night Jokes from Newsmax.com Headlines (Scroll down or click the link for complete stories): The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien Late Show Top Ten Late Show with David Letterman The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Late Night with Jimmy Fallon The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien ● It’s been reported that 11 percent of Americans still think that President Obama is a Muslim. Apparently, it’s the same 11 percent who still think Adam Lambert would be perfect for their daughter. ● Today, the country of Iran is holding its presidential election with four candidates running. Iranians will have to decide which candidate is best prepared to lead them into the 12th century. ● Former President George Bush Sr. celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving with CNN anchor Robin Meade. Fox News reported the story as “Liberal media pushes old man out of airplane.” ● Yesterday in New York City, a woman gave birth to a baby girl while waiting on a subway platform. Witnesses say it was the third grossest thing happening on the subway platform. Editor's Note: 'Idol' Auditions Attract Thousands in Mass. Late Show Top Ten Top Ten Questions Congress Is Receiving About The Digital Switchover 10. If I don't switch over, is my teevee gonna "splode?" 9. Is this 'cuz of the swine flu? 8. Can I still mute "The View"? 7. Will I have to do a digital switchover for my waffle maker also? 6. Any chance this will make Letterman funny? 5. Can you help me? I swallowed my remote 4. Uh . . . is that today? 3. Can you pass a law to bring back "Gunsmoke"? 2. Does this mean Oprah can finally see me watching her? 1. Seriously, shouldn't you idiots be working on the economy? Editor's Note: Hundreds Honor David Carradine at Funeral Late Show with David Letterman ● Today is the day for the big digital changeover for your TV. Everyone's getting ready. As a matter of fact, Dick Cheney hooked up a converter to his pacemaker. ● Donald Trump's birthday this weekend. That thing on his head will be wearing a party hat. ● They're trying to figure out what to do with the prisoners at Guantanamo. I have an idea: Let's move them in with Jon and Kate. It'll be "Jon & Kate Plus 245." Editor's Note: 'Hangover' Hangs on As No. 1 Movie With $33.4M The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson ● I heard Prince needs a double hip replacement. Wow. Tonight he's going to party like he just turned 99. ● The Olsen twins both turn 23 this weekend. They'll be celebrating like they do every year — they get a birthday cake and don't eat it. ● It's a big night in television. Every TV station made the switch to digital. If you don't understand what's happening, you're not alone. It's like trying to understand "Lost" or Paula Abdul. Editor's Note: Obama Half Brother, George Obama, Pens Book Late Night with Jimmy Fallon ● Yesterday President Obama signed a note for a fourth-grade girl who missed school so she could attend his town hall. I don’t see what the big deal is. Bush wrote notes for fourth graders too — he just called them “speeches.” ● Lil Wayne will be the proud father of two new sons from two different women. Yeah — the women were Lil Drunk and Lil Stoned. ● Norman Brinker, the man who invented the salad bar, passed away this week. The wake was open-casket but with a sneeze-guard. ● They lowered his casket into the ground using giant tongs. To get these jokes sent straight to your inbox, go here now. This e-mail is never sent unsolicited. You have received this Newsmax e-mail because you subscribed to it or someone forwarded it to you. To opt out, see the links below. TO ADVERTISE For information on advertising, please contact Newsmax Advertising Sales via e-mail. TO SUBSCRIBE If this e-mail has been forwarded to you and would like a subscription, please sign up here. Remove your e-mail address from our list or modify your profile. We respect your right to privacy. View our policy. This e-mail was sent by: Newsmax.com 4152 West Blue Heron Blvd., Ste. 1114 Riviera Beach, FL, 33404 USA 642919 8171-1